you'll probably never read this and if you do, i hope you forget it right away. i hope you think it's about anyone else but you, that you shrug it off and are thinking about something else as soon as you click it [me] away. i hope you don't think about how my heart is still hung up on the hook you planted in it. i hope you don't realize that my thoughts still orbit around you whenever i'm alone and my defenses are down.
but i hope some part of you knows:
i hate you for what you put me through. i hate you for the way i cry in the shower because i feel better not knowing if the water on my face is salty or not. i hate you for the way i drive too fast because speed is the only thing i feel can whisk away your memory. i hate you even more for the way your absence never lasts for long.
i hate you for the way you left without looking back, the casual ease with which you accepted the dissolving of whatever it was we were. i hate you for moving on when i'm stuck in park, for the way you're able to shake me off and i'm still lingering over the faded photographs, the whisperings thoughts still riding the wind. i hate you for leaving me behind without so much as tapping the brakes.
i hope you know that i'm not dying, but then again, i'm not really living anymore either. i'm going through the motions, but i'm missing the vibrancy that i once knew, the passion that made everything brighter, more beautiful, just because i knew you were there. i'm not waiting for you to come back, but only because i know you won't. i'm just waiting for the feeling to come back in my legs so i can drag myself forward again.
i hope you don't think this is about you and i hope you don't think less of me because i said it. i hope you know me well enough to know i'm not going to let this [you] beat me, that someday i'll figure out a way to carve my path to a new life. i hope you never think about the tears you left behind and the minutes spent wishing for you back. i hope you never think about how small i looked in the rear view mirror.
mostly: i hope you never read this, i hope you never know it's about you.
but i hope some part of you knows:
i hate you for what you put me through. i hate you for the way i cry in the shower because i feel better not knowing if the water on my face is salty or not. i hate you for the way i drive too fast because speed is the only thing i feel can whisk away your memory. i hate you even more for the way your absence never lasts for long.
i hate you for the way you left without looking back, the casual ease with which you accepted the dissolving of whatever it was we were. i hate you for moving on when i'm stuck in park, for the way you're able to shake me off and i'm still lingering over the faded photographs, the whisperings thoughts still riding the wind. i hate you for leaving me behind without so much as tapping the brakes.
i hope you know that i'm not dying, but then again, i'm not really living anymore either. i'm going through the motions, but i'm missing the vibrancy that i once knew, the passion that made everything brighter, more beautiful, just because i knew you were there. i'm not waiting for you to come back, but only because i know you won't. i'm just waiting for the feeling to come back in my legs so i can drag myself forward again.
i hope you don't think this is about you and i hope you don't think less of me because i said it. i hope you know me well enough to know i'm not going to let this [you] beat me, that someday i'll figure out a way to carve my path to a new life. i hope you never think about the tears you left behind and the minutes spent wishing for you back. i hope you never think about how small i looked in the rear view mirror.
mostly: i hope you never read this, i hope you never know it's about you.
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