Birthday wishes

Won't you come and take me away?

I don't have any desire to stay.

Okay, I'll stay here as long as you do too.

The truth is, I just want to be with you.

I'll be blowing out my candles with a sigh.

Asking each one a silent "Why?"

Why aren't you here, the only thing to wish for?

And why is it that if you came, I'd still want more?

Opening presents, they're all wrapped up very pretty.

But the only thing I asked for was for you to be here with me.

Waving goodbye to the guests, sighing that it's over.

Take a walk, wish on a four leaf clover.

Close my eyes, hope you suddenly appear.

Open them again, a lonely fall is all that's here.

In Love with a mess

I don't mind, I don't mind
If you're constantly high
It doesn't matter if you're baked or not
To me

I don't care I don't care
If you think I'm unaware
Of the things you do when you're without
Me.

But I don't want to know
If you're about to go
If you don't like the times
we both shared
I don't want to know
If I'll be all alone
If I need to plan
on getting out of here
Cause I'm in love with a mess
I don't care if it's for the best
All I know is I have heart to spare

I don't mind, I don't mind
If you stumble in late at night
I don't need someone to take good care
of me.

I don't care, I don't care,
If you need to stop and stare
At all the other girls except for
Me

But I don't want to know
If you're about to go
If you don't like the times
we both shared
I don't want to know
If I'll be all alone
If I need to plan
on getting out of here
Cause I'm in love with a mess
I don't care if it's for the best
All I know is I have heart to spare

Hear me out
Take me out
Use me up
But I am sticking around
Hear me out
Fake me out
Make it rough
But I am sticking around..

Cause I'm in love with a mess
I don't care if it's for the best
All I know is I have heart to spare

My Love

My love is a rainy night in an unbearably hot season
He's a breath of fresh air, the world that I live in
He leaves me wet and breathless under the dark sky
He is my blanket on a very cold night
My love is the soft, warm hoodie with which I sleep
He is that goodnight kiss, so slow and deep
He is the sun that breaks the bows of twilight
He wakes my soul with a gradient light
My love makes me think of all these beautiful things
There's not one doubt in my mind that I am forever his.

Them

Somebody broke me and took my insides
And when I found out I nearly died
Life was a meaningless hole lacking rights
But rules and everything make it right

Oh, There's something bugging me
Oh, It's something they gave me
Oh, They said they found the cure
Oh, But now they aren't so sure

I'm finding it harder to believe
They have their heart on their sleeve
They've got my heart there instead
I guess it's cause I'm so easily read

Oh, There's something bugging me
Oh, It's something they gave me
Oh, They said they found the cure
Oh, But now they aren't so sure

I am lying on this bed full of questions lacking answers
That are swimming through my head, swimming harder swimming faster
They've got me a loop, I don't know what to do
I'm just looking for the truth, now they're looking for you

Oh, there's something bugging me
Oh, It's something they gave me
Oh, they said they found the cure
Oh, but now I'm not so sure

I wish

I wish I wish I could just float into the ocean
I wish I wish I could fly into the sky
I have to deal with my wild imagination
Take me away away far away

I wish I wish I had the heart to love you
I wish I wish I had the decency to show you
I like I like the way you hold me near you
I wish I never have to cry

I don't believe in the bigger picture
I like to keep all my little tiny treasures
I love the way we watch the sunlight, up high
Never have to say goodnight

I wish these shoes held more than just me
You'd walk along my side and help out my feet
And when it rains, oh boy it rains
But then we watch it shine again

I don't believe in the bigger picture
i want to keep all of my tiny treasures
I love the way you look up at me, honey
Never have to say goodnight
Never have to say goodnight

Something I wrote

One of those days, someone accidentally watered my plants
I could have used more days of rain
I could have used more days of rain well..
One of these days, I'll have the decency to get off my ass
I could have used more days to reign
I could have used more days to reign well..
I'm not saying that I hate you, I'm not saying this is your fault
But I'm not gonna be the one to blame,
I'm not gonna take all the blame
I love you, I swear I always will be the one to talk to
When you realize that this is insane
When you realize that it's not the same well..

Love Later

I wrote a love letter,
I wrote a love letter
To tell you, to tell you I love you
I wrote a love letter,
I wrote a love letter,
To ask you to love me too

But don't you dare tell me
There won't be an ending
Don't you dare tell me
I'll never be lonely again

I wrote a love letter
I wrote a love letter
To ask you to marry me
I wrote a love letter
I wrote a love letter
To tell you, you drive me crazy

don't you dare tell me
There won't be an ending
don't you dare tell me
I'll never feel lonely again

I wrote a love letter
Right to myself, it said
You don't want to fall, I promise, you'll hurt again
I wrote a love letter
Right to your future wife
I hope you love him, I hope that you love your life
And your small children,
You're lovely garden
You're sunday mornings, and picnics, your weekends
I hope you're happy
Once he has left me
I mean, it's obvious
No one man can love like this

Don't you dare tell me
there isn't an ending
Don't you dare tell me
I'll never feel lonely again

Lamb

I am a bird
And I don't know my own home
I am a bird
And I won't ever go home
In the northwest, there is rainfall
There are clouds over my head
In the southeast, there is nothing
There is nothing I know best

I am a girl
And I don't know my own name
I am a girl
And my days all seem the same
After sunset, there is nothing
There is nothing I know best
After daybreak, there is nothing
There is nothing but a mess

I am alone
I am alone
I am alone, but I don't know how to dress
I am alone, but I still am not the best
After weekends, there are daylights
But there's nothing in this life
To keep drum beats, to keep rhythm
To keep each cymbal on time

Modern Love

Am I the only one who believes in romance anymore?
Relations seems like a serial business
You say "Modern love is a killer"
But honey, it's been killing us this whole time.
You can't even blame something you can't see
All you can do is blame yourself... Or blame me.
Cause I'm the one that has hope for love
I'm the only one with hope for love
But am I the only one who believes in romance?
Or did that die with all the finer things
Like flowers and journals and heart-shaped boxes
Like "embrace" and "honey" and "weak at the knees"?
Show me someone who believes in romance
And I'll show you their soulmate.

In my world

Your head is full of calculations
Your mind is out to sea
I'd love to make you think about it, love
Whether you could live without me
If I never shredded your love-strings
If I never set you on over-drive
Would your heart have found it's way, babe
Would it make it next to mine
Oh my sugar-booger, lovely lover, I
Picked you apart with each word
Show me your ocean, show me your lovely waters, I
Just wanna feel you in my world
Things are opening up everyday, you
tell me that everything will be okay, I
Never wanted you to be so caught up in this
But with our relationship it's either hit or miss
And everybody says the world is ending
I guess everyone's wrong
Cause my life is just starting
And it just can't end now

Another Story

Write me another story
about how lovers last
like nectarines in a ziplock
like popcorn in a bag.
And baby, could you tell me
that boys weren't just sent here
to break apart a heartfelt plan
after nibbles on your ear.
But kisses all mean nothing
and vows exist to break
relationships are like popsicles
on a burning summer day.
But every boy could tell you
that they're too madly fallen
to conform to the destructive social trends
of this world we were born in.

The Art Of Losing

I held something precious once
Something taken for granted
Like a butterfly on the edge of your palm
It only lingers for a moment
And as you try to soak up the beauty
With a wisp and flutter of its wings
It's gone
Flying out of reach

I lost something
Keys are in their place
It's my heart, aching
Is it so wrong to speak your mind?

I've taken the punches
Saw how much stronger you were than me
I would just fall down
And bear the marks of your footprints
As I got left behind in your shadow

I saw the jealousy we both have
Over the same goal
The same smile
We both longed to see
It just seemed you got them more
That they were brighter
I wanted to see that smile too.

No pillow fights, or secrets told
Over a cup of tea
No jumping in sprinklers
Did we ever do anything together?
I'm trying to remember a good memory
Why is my mind going blank?

Guess I'm not so good at sharing
Those words I spoke
Have built for years
I'm trying to be a new person
Not the weakling of before
But it's not easy
When I've lost that small part
That fills my whole

Time heals all wounds
But how long will this one bleed
What scars will remain?
Gone is our childlike innocence
The pretence of a bond
And yet maybe this sadness I feel
Are the remnants of the bond
We once may have wished to have

So I guess I'll wait
Missing that piece,
Missing you.
Whenever you're ready
I'll be here.

The Little Things

Sleeping in, nestled under the covers
Stretching as the sun warms my eyes
Hearing the church bells ring down the street
And the leaves rustling in the trees

Licking chocolate chip dough from my fingers
The smell of banana bread in the oven
A clean house
Flowers in a vase on the shelf,
All different colors

Not having to bundle up,
The sun's peeking through
Watching the horses graze
In the long grass of our field
The dog lazing in the yard.

The smell of home, and their voices
Of those I know love me
Running next to my Dad, and thankful
I can hear his steady breaths
On the road to recovery
Able to make these memories

Sitting next to you, if even for a minute
Wishing you a good day
Kissing you softly on the lips
Looking at your smile
Looking forward to our future together

Laughing even as my fingertips are freezing
At the sheer joy of flying down the road
The engine beneath me roaring
As we go for one last ride until spring

Now back at home, many things accomplished
Snuggled comfortably into my couch
A movie plays, and the bed will soon call
A good day overall,
Good night.

SCARS

Some we can see
On the surface of skin
Reminders of memories
Of childhood, of learning
Of memories and regrets
Some of resolution, other determination
Born out of recklessness, fear
Daring and sorrow.

Others, we will never see
Buried down deep
These skeletons; Lines across our chest
Loss and broken hearts
The lashings of broken trust
Of things of which
Our lips will not speak
They are carried by all
Some heavier than others.

Some will fade
Over months, over years
Some will heal
But always be fresh
In our minds, in our souls
Until our last breath

I cannot speak for all
Each have their own unique set
As different as the soul
Who carries them
But I can speak for mine.
The ones you can't see
Of loneliness and hurtful words
Of years of living with a reflection in the mirror
I hated.

The scars of a woman
Who smashed that mirror
Picked up the pieces of herself
And putting together
Something that was still part of her;

But the image now reflected
Was one I could smile at;
One I could live with, still Me
And yet, something new, something proud
To wear those scars

I cannot speak for you
Our experiences differ
But I'll hold your hand within my own
I'll open my heart to let you in
Along with those old wounds
For they are as much a part of you
As the beating heart I listen to
While my head lies upon your chest

They may not heal, but maybe I hope
A little they may fade
Your smile will show
The joy I have to be with you
The peace I hope to give

The love reflected
Within the last broken pieces
Forming something beautiful and shared
We hold each other close
We meld the pieces together, like our hearts
Until whole, they beat as one.

Sometimes

Sometimes, I wish I could be someone else. Even for just a split of seconds, an hour or just a day. Not to change things, feel how it is to be in other people's shoes, to be better.

No.

I'd like to see my face when I lose.

I'd like to see my tears.

I'd like to know why some still care and the others don't even write anymore.


I'd like to make myself happy, even though such a feeling would be only a faint touch of something still blooming or already dying out there.


I'd like to see a smile playing on my face.

I'd like to see myself blowing a kiss at someone, although that someone is long dead but
still manages to whisper silly, broken love spells into my ear.


I'd like to see myself die one day.
From a bullet, a combat knife. Of leukemia, a broken heart.


I'd like to see your face the moment my coffin settles in-between the grass and the reddish sky. I'd like to touch your tears then, those fake ones caught on the lips of the bystanders and taste every one of them with pietism.

I'd like to see my clothes being torn or still cradled at night in your unmoving, lifeless arms.

I'd like to see lanterns being lit up every other January or October or never beside the head of my small, white marble memorial.




Sometimes the light used to catch itself in your hair and I wish I could have been myself just a bit longer those moments.

I'd like to have been able to kiss your lips then and pretend you could be just as immortal as the airglow and my dreams.


I'd like to see you smile afterwards.




I'd like to still have you here.