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2.26.2012

Drop Dead Gorgeous

She starves herself, one day at a time. Weighs herself but isnt satisfied. Over the toilet she purges her binge. The fingers she uses to gag herself are twisted and thin. Her teeth are rotting at their core. Her tongue is singed and her throat is always sore. Her stomach is shrinking and her bones protrude. Never enough and its not worth the food. But none of that really matters, because she's drop dead gorgeous.

Each day that goes by she hates herself. More and more she beats herself. Taking the razor that leaves her skin bare, she cuts herself ten times without any care. She loves the blood as it beeds up from her incisions. She smiles as it throbs and is glad with her decision. She deserves it, she thinks she's not worth it. And each time it goes deeper and the scar will grow longer. And each time the pain and addiction grow stronger. But none of that really matters, becuase she's drop dead gorgeous.

In the shower she always cries. She wishes the day would wash off each night. Her tiresome life is filled with crying and sometimes she feels she shouldnt even be trying. She constantly tries to live up to the standard but she's so fatigued she cant even speak a solitary word. But none of that matters, because she's drop dead gorgeous.

Out of the shower, she dries off her tears. Puts on more makeup year after year. Piles it on to cover any imperfections. She knows society has no objections. Her mascara bleeds as she cries at the mirror. down her face and off of her chin, she begins to sob because she'll never be thin. She drops her concealer into the sink filled with swirling mascara tears looking like ink. It seems that she cant go a minute without thinking that she is insufficient. But none of that matters, because she's drop dead gorgeous.

She finally feels that she's had enough, she cant take anymore, things are just too rough. She finds all the pills that are stored in her home and she downs them without so much as a moan. She falls to the floor silently and fast and later found by those who lover her at last. They cant believe what they see and the lack of what they feel. The ambulence comes and it still doesnt seem real. Her stomach is pumped but it was too late. Suicide seemed to be her true fate. So her family and friends sit and cry. They had no idea things had gone so awry. The people who loved her were the ones that were so hurt. But none of that matters, because she's dropped dead.

gorgeous?

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